Parenting Beyond Your Capacity – Chapter 3

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post about Chapter 3 and it didn’t save or upload.  At that point I was so frustrated I just had to walk away for a bit.  Now I’m back and excited to share with you a few tidbits that Carey and Reggie share.  This chapter begins the first of 5 main points to the book or FAMILY VALUES.  “Widen the Circle”

All of us have grown up in different environments, but we could all have benefited from our parents widening the circle of influence and inviting other adults to speak into our lives both practically and spiritually.  This chapter is all about parents realizing that kids don’t always want to hear their parents voices and take their advice.  They want (and will seek) advice from others.  As parents we can help guide our kids to the right influences rather than pushing them to look for answers in their peers/MTV/the internet.  How does this look?  How does this happen?  There’s no true formula.  At The Journey we talk a lot about small groups.  A part of the vision of Journey Kids (birth-5th) is to be able to have the kids meet with the same adult in small groups on a weekly basis.  This isn’t up and running in all of the rooms yet, but we’re headed in that direction.  Journey Teens meets in small groups and their leaders are investing in them throughout the week as well as when they get together.  The idea of widening the circle is not about replacing the parents, but finding other adults who you trust that will help support you as you parent.

Oh boy, it’s explained much better in the chapter (there are so many great nuggets to take away, these are just a few.)

A few quotes to leave you with:

“When you ask, ‘Who are you going to talk to?’ would your kids have a name?” (61)

“Jesus did not teach the disciples to do ministry.  He did ministry with the disciples while He taught them.” (68)

“By helping them find opportunities to serve others, you’ll encourage them to be the church instead of just going to church.” (73)

“Don’t underestimate what serving inside the church, in your community, and even globally can do to the heart of your son or daughter.” (74)

“Most of our children will never really believe they are significant until we give them something significant to do.” (75)

“When you widen the circle, the goal is to have other trusted adults in the lives of children before they need them so they will be there when they need them.” (76)

“God never intended life to be lived in isolation, and what’s true of individuals is also true of families.  We have been called to live as part of a much wider circle and God-engineered community to help all of us parent beyond our capacity.” (76)

If you don’t have the cash to purchase this book, you can still gleam some great wisdom/stories/discussions from Carey and Reggie at their blog


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